"This is my first cabbage! You know, a lot of times they’re kind of soft, but this one is solid! It’s going to be good eatin’!" "What are you going to make with it?" "Well, this one I’m giving to my parents. You have to give the first one away or you just spoil the whole spirit of gardening."
Coping strategy for when you are trapped in conversations with obnoxious people:
1. Pick a spot nearby, around eye level, preferably a small object. That is now the camera. 2. When they say something you just cannot stand, look directly into the camera like you’re on The Office 3. Repeat as often as needed
"He who fights with monsters should be careful he doesn’t become a monster himself. Unless that makes him more effective at fighting monsters. Like he becomes a badass werewolf who knows how to use a sword and has magic armor. That’d be so rad."